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Kilts and Stilts
'''Kilts and Stilts '''is the fortieth Silly Songs with Larry. Preceded by: Happy Toothday Followed by: Wrapped Myself Up for Christmas Lyrics Narrator: And now it's time for Silly- Larry the Cucumber: Hold it! Narrator: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Scottish Larry. The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly Scottish song. Scooter Carrot: I can't tell ya how proud I am at this moment! Larry the Cucumber: I dance on stilts... While he knits quilts... Scooter Carrot: Nice quilt! Larry the Cucumber (Scottish Accent): I sing with simulated Scottish island lilt. Scooter Carrot: Ah, beautiful! Larry the Cucumber: He plays his bagpipe... Bagpipe Larry the Cucumber: Eats haggis melts... Scooter Carrot: Haggis! Larry the Cucumber: We feel so smart in our red tartan Scottish kilts. Scooter Carrot: Sing it, lad! Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: In our... red tartan kilts... We feel so smart in our red tartan Scottish kilts. Scooter Carrot: Technically you stitch a quilt, but otherwise lovely! Jean-Claude Pea: Top of ze mornin' to you. Scooter Carrot: I'll have you know that's not in Scotland! Rip! Larry the Cucumber: I dance on stilts... Scooter Carrot: Excuse me, sir! Larry the Cucumber: He stitches quilts... Scooter Carrot: What ya doin' wit a shamrock? Larry the Cucumber (Irish Accent): I sing with simulated Northern Irish lilt. Scooter Carrot: Irish? Larry the Cucumber: He plays his whistle... Whistle Scooter Carrot: What? Larry the Cucumber: Eat salted smelts... Scooter Carrot: It's not on the menu! Larry the Cucumber: We feel so smart in our green tartan Irish kilts. Scooter Carrot: I've got nothing against me! Irish- Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd and Mr. Nezzer: In our... green tartan kilts... We feel so smart in our green tartan Irish kilts... Scooter Carrot: But this is a Scottish song! Jean-Claude Pea: Cheep-Cheep-Cheerio! Rip! Scooter Carrot (muffled by the thrown kilt at his face): Ugh! Larry: I dance on stilts... He stitches quilts... Scooter Carrot: WHAT ARE YA DOIN'?!!! Larry the Cucumber (English Accent): I sing with simulated English Cortney lilt. Scooter Carrot: ENGLISH??! Boomp Larry the Cucumber: He plays his trumpet... Trumpet Scooter Carrot (desperately): Ugh! Larry the Cucumber: Eats crumpet melts... Scooter Carrot: Gimme that crumpet! Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: We feel so smart in our St. George's English Kilts. Scooter Carrot: Well ya shouldn't! Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: In our, St. George's kilts... Scooter Carrot: No! Wait! Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: We feel so smart in- Scooter Carrot (Briefly): No! Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: -our St. George's English kilts. Scooter Carrot: Oh! Jean-Claude Pea: Howdy y'all! Scooter Carrot: Stop it you! You're ruining me moment! (Accelerando) Larry the Cucumber: I dance on stilts... He stitches quilts... Scooter Carrot: AMERICAN?!?!?!?!?!?! Larry the Cucumber: I sing with ordinary unaccented lilt. Scooter Carrot: Oh! Oh! I'm feeling dizzy! Larry the Cucumber: He plays his banjo... Banjo Larry the Cucumber: Eats cheddar melts... Scooter Carrot: Oh, I'm break ya know! Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: We feel so smart in our star-spangled striped kilts. Scooter Carrot: Stop it! Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: In our... star-spangled kilts... Scooter Carrot: Stop that! Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: We feel so smart in our star-spangled striped kilts. We feel so smart in our star-spangled striped kilts. Scooter (moaning): Uh! (Scooter faints.) Narrator: This has been Silly Songs with Scottish Larry. Tune in next time to hear Larry say: Larry (joyfully): Just get him some scotch tape and butterscotch. He'll be fine! Scooter: Oh, my Bonnie lies over the ocean!